


Not A Mistake

by Grotesque (Grotesque_Flower)



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Freeform, Maybe - Freeform, im crying the epsiode was too much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-06
Updated: 2015-02-06
Packaged: 2018-03-10 18:12:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3299186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grotesque_Flower/pseuds/Grotesque
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When pearl goes into Amethyst's room in search for one of her swords, she finds a rare sight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not A Mistake

**Author's Note:**

> The episode, man the episode DESTROYED ME!!!

Pearl growled inwardly to herself as she opened the temple door to Amethyst's room with a bright glow from her gem located on her forehead. Taking careful and long strides in the junk yard the purple gem called a habitable living space. Making her way towards the large waterfall in the spacious area observing around for any signs of the current missing weapon of hers. Brows furrowing in displeasure when she had no luck, meaning that she would have to actually search around the mess to find what she was looking for.

The tall gem growled in frustration as she balled her fists tightly by her side, "Even though i go through the trouble of helping her organize this mess she still turns around and throws a tantrum making it a mess again! I don't even get a thanks, oh-hohohoh no, because Gods forbid she appreciates anything i do for her!"

Pearl ranted to herself as she dug through a pile of random assorted trinkets holding dear memories to the other gem. Out of habit she began putting things she came across in a semi organized manner, clicking her tongue in annoyance when she came across half eaten foods; forgotten ice cream, sandwiches, even a bowl of cereal so soggy that it was practically a gooey sludge from the absorption of the spoiled milk. Not to mention it was in a bowl that Steven had been looking for for months now, he probably forgotten all about his Crying Breakfast Friends limited edition bowl.

With a grimace of disgust Pearl shoved the bowl as far away from her she could at the moment before turning back to the task at hand. What was her task again? Oh yeah! Looking for her sword, getting so caught up in the mess she forgot about her original purpose of being in the room. 

"Aha!" Pearl spoke triumphantly as she reached for the glass sword stuck up between the bottom of the pile of junk and the edge of the water.

Holding it tightly she knelt back up and turned away, ready to leave. However she quickly stopped in her tracks when she heard a loud sniffle coming from somewhere off to the side. 

"Amethyst?" Pearl called out, carefully walking towards the direction of the noise.

Amethyst's head whipped up once she heard the familiar voice call out, running the back of her hand across the base of her nose as she mumbled an 'oh great'.

Pearl looked around behind several high stacked piles of junk before spotting the short gem lazily laying on her mattress, leisurely flipping through a random magazine she had grabbed when she heard the other.

"Come to yell at me over something dumb again?" Amethyst spoke dryly.

"No, not anymore," Pearl spoke softly as she carefully walked over to the other, watching her with worry.

"Well  **that's** a surprise," Amethyst rolled her lavender eyes, "usually you jump at any and every chance to lecture me."

The tall gem carefully sat down on the mattress, swatting the lose ribbon ends tied to her waist out of the way before. She stared down at the other, taking note how she avoided eye contact.

"One of your swords take a trip down the waterfall again? I didn't take it," she pointed out with a snort.

"Amethyst, have you been crying?" pale hands cupped Amethyst's face forcing it in place.

"what!" Amethyst's hands wrapped tightly around the other's thin wrists trying to pull herself away, "let me go!"

"What's wrong?? You're eyes are all red," Pearl let her go frowning guiltily as the gem tumbled backwards.

"Because i haven't slept, jeez," Amethyst spoke as she crawled make onto the bed with an annoyed look glued to her face.

"You and I both know that's not true," the pale gem placed her hands in her lap with the worry still visible on her face.

Amethyst stared off to the side in thought, biting her lip harshly. Without realizing it her bottom lip began to tremble as tears welled up in her eyes, clawing at the single blanket on her mattress. Snorting loudly as her nose began to run.

"Amethyst, are you thinkin-"

"Yes! Nothing good ever comes from me thinking! I'm just some dumb idiot that thinks about even dumber things! You're always putting me down saying 'don't you think?' well guess what Pearl!! I'm thinking and i just wanna stop thinking for once!" Amethyst's voice cracked as she interrupted.

"Amethyst! You know that i don't mean it when i say things like that," Pearl reached out her hand only to have it slapped away.

"Are you sure??? Because you don't seem like the joking type!" tears rolled down her purple cheeks leaving a seemingly burning trail, "Sorry i'm such a failure to you!"

"You are not a failure!" Pearl rarely shouted, but here voice echoed loudly as her face fell serious and stern staring down at the other.

Amethyst looked up at her, her tears never stopping for a beat, "You're lying! I can see it on your face! Garnet's face! I'm sure Steven even looks at me with some sort of pity and embarrassment! I mean i would! In fact I do!"

Pearl's pale eyes scanned over the gem's face as she glared up angrily at her, breathing harshly through her clenched jaw.

"Do you have any idea what that's like! To see yourself and know without a thought of doubt that you're a failure!!! That's you're just some twisted mistake created by someone else for who knows what!" Her voice was growing hoarse as she screamed, "You don't! Don't even try to tell me that you have even a sliver of knowledge of what that's like!"

Amethyst continued after another loud sniffle, "You'll never know what that feels like, because you're little miss perfect. Never missing a beat, never making a bad move, never failing at her entire existence. You and I may be Crystal Gems, we may be part of a team but that's where it all stops. In fact, if it weren't for Rose we wouldn't even be here. I wouldn't be here, because deny it all you want, but i know you just think i'm some big mistake, unlike you Pearl."

Pearl stared at her wide eyed and at a loss for words. This was a common argument between Amethyst and, well, anyone who knew about her past. No matter how many times the words were thrown she never could grasp and understand why the other still felt like this time after time.

"Amethyst, i have not once thought anything like that towards you, neither has Garnet," Pearl started, taking her time to puzzle the words together before she spoke.

"Just because the people who manufactured you, the bad gems, that doesn't make you one of them! We all make mistakes!"

"Liar!" Amethyst began crying hard again, "Mistakes, we don't all make 'mistakes'. Mistakes are something we can't fix, things we can't help!"

"That's not true! And if that was, then that means that you're not a mistake!"

Amethyst opened her burning eyes to meet with pearl's.

"A mistake, you're not one!  I don't know fully what you think you are, but you're not a mistake! You took control of your life, you strayed from the path that was originally intended for you, by  _them,_ and you're here! You're with us! You're choosing the path that you feel is good, you feel is right and that's perfect! You're not perfect! Garnet's not perfect! Rose wasn't perfect! I'm not even perfect! You're right, i don't know what it's like to feel the way you do. But i can damn sure try and help you to get those stupid thoughts out of your skull!"

Pearl took a second to allow air to return to her, "You're not a mistake, mistakes don't exist. If you were one, you wouldn't be here right now..."

There was a long silence before Pearl slowly opened her eyes, not realizing at some point she must have squeeze them tightly shut. Amethyst's lip was trembling again like before, as her shoulders shook with both emotion and exhaustion. Pearl's face was a deep blue from the yelling, she felt like she was going to be the next one to start crying. She closed her eyes tightly again, feeling the tears peak over and roll down her face before feeling the weight and crushing tight embrace of the other gem. Crying hard into Pearl's flat chest loudly. Pearl returned the embrace, pulling the other closer as she buried her face in the untamable mess of almost white hair. 

"Pearl," Amethyst's voice was rough and muffled, "I'm sorry for freaking out like that."

"It's fine, it's perfectly fine. It's okay to scream and yell and cry when you need to, perfectly fine."

* * *

*slight bonus*

Once Amethyst's breathing calmed and her tight grip loosened Pearl pulled back, wiping the stray tears that still lingered on the purple gem's face away.

"Ugh, i hate getting emotional and junk, my head is killing me," Amethyst flopped down lazily on the mattress holding her head.

"Wanna just sleep it off?" Pearl looked down at her, eye brows raised in slight question.

"I was going to, why?" She asked with confusion.

"I think, i'll join you," Pearl laid down on her side next to her.

"Woah, this is different," Amethyst slightly laughed as she looked at Pearl's face.

"What? Do you want me to leave or something?" Pearl asked as she closed her eyes already knowing the answer.

Amethyst laughed a bit nervously as a deep shade of purple dusted her cheeks, "No, no this is fine!"

"Besides," Pearl started, "It'd be kinda awkward to just walk out right now."

"ahaheh, yeah..."

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is a mess, i am a mess!


End file.
